I know it’s gettin’ a little late, but here’s some last minute help if you are still trying to decide what to get the hockey dad who has everything. What to put in the ol’ hockey stocking hung by the chimney with care?

A Tim’s card (which you can now even buy online) is always nice and for some (like those of us who serve double duty as hockey coach) a Liquor Store card is even nicer. But gift cards can be somewhat impersonal. Overworked, underpaid hockey dads should really be rewarded for the countless hours they spend bent over tying skates, out on the driveway blocking rock hard rubber discs with paper thin road hockey equipment or feverishly scraping windshields with half-frozen digits at 5:30am in the middle of January to get junior to a practice he or she isn’t really all that thrilled about going to. I’m mostly beyond having to perform these terribly terrific tasks and have been able to strike most of them from my memory. Yet, I think it’s important to lobby for my younger fellow hockey dads who are dutifully towing the parental line to raise better, more well adjusted children and for my older hockey dad colleagues or perhaps even hockey grandpas who have likewise put in the time and are deserving of some small token of appreciation.

• An industrial-sized box of Hot Shots hand warmers (though upon investigation you can apparently also purchase foot, toe and body warmers)…cuz Dad’s hands and feet get cold too after standing in an old-style rink in the middle of nowhere for hours on end.

• Along the same line, though supporting an ulterior motive, get yer dad a nice pair of noise-cancelling ear muffs to naturally keep his ears warm, but also to block out the often incessant drone of over-zealous hockey moms, over-bearing hockey dads or over-used cowbells. Hockey doesn’t necessarily need more cowbell.

• A certain hockey coach Dad will take a few bounces and a little luck here or there realizing this is something the Hockey Gods rather than Santa will have to deliver. Do ya think them Gods have Naughty and Nice list. I think I should be on the latter for the most part. Have only lost my cool with the refs a couple of times so far this season and never to the point where I took a penalty.

• One of these new fangled unbreakable hockey sticks, which may cost a bunch up front, but could save a bundle in the long run

• A coupla beers, a fews bags of microwave popcorn and the hockey film holy trinity — Slapshot, Miracle and Goon (though I might get some flack for this one, I thought it was hilarious). Feel free to follow these up with The Mighty Ducks, Mystery Alaska and The Rocket. Please, under no circumstances, accidentally buy or give Slapshot 3 as a present for anyone.

• How bout a coupla tickets to a Major Junior or NHL game (Oh yes, Barrie Colts or Winnipeg Jets tickets if anyone is asking bout yours truly), cuz what else would a hockey dad want to do when he’s not at a rink watching hockey, but go to a rink and watch hockey.

• A get out of the penalty box free card…or two. 

• An unexpiring coupon, the bearer of which, is entitled to a few solid hours of couch time on any given Sunday afternoon in the off-season.

• A time machine to occasionally go back and watch the kids first strides on the ice,  their tyke hockey games, their first goals and to recatch their celebrations complete with ear-to-ear grins.

• A frozen pond, a net, skates, a stick and a bottomless bag o’ pucks – simple perfection.

Ok, it’s no frozen pond, but it’s the best this suburban hockey dad can do on short notice.

See, we hockey dads don’t ask for too much.

Merry Ho Ho and Happy Shopping!

#imahockeydad

Hockey Santa image courtesty http://www.onemillionskates.com
Penalty Box Photo – Two For Roughing courtesy http://www.johnnewby.ca/hockey/twoforroughing.html